Letter to My Younger Self

By BRANDT MORGAN

It was late November of 2020 when I got diagnosed with Stage 3 Non-Hodgkin’s T-Cell Lymphoblastic Lymphoma, a life threatening cancer. This battle was not only hard for me but for my family as well. I was told I would have a week before I had to start my first round of aggressive chemotherapy and would be admitted to the hospital. After just three days, I ended up collapsing and being rushed to the ER at Cohen’s Children’s Hospital and finding out that my cancer had spread from my throat to my chest in just 72 hours. This is when the marathon began. I spent the next month getting CAT scans, PET scans, MRIs, chemo treatments (all without anesthesia because it was unsafe for me), a PICC line put into my arm, a port put into my chest, different chemotherapy drugs, high dose steroids, counts slowly dropping, transfusions, losing feeling in different parts of my body, throwing up on the daily, waking up to hair on my pillow every morning, and my body slowly, slowly getting taken down bit by bit. 

Honestly, in the hospital it was hard some nights to put my head down on my pillow not knowing what tomorrow would bring. I often thought, “What more could happen? How much worse could it get?”

I knew I had to get in the right mental state. I could either sit back and feel sorry for myself each day, or I could get up every morning and do something about it. 

All my coaches, doctors, and teammates thought I would never be able to pick up a football again. When someone tells me I can’t do something or it isn’t possible, I make it my mission to prove them wrong. I trained throughout treatments, sick days, busy days, mornings and nights to make it a goal to step foot on the football field again. My junior year I got one snap at quarterback and then started more than half the games my senior year. However, the way I was treated throughout my senior season is something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. 

My school’s football program was blended with Plainview Old Bethpage. From the start, I had this feeling that the Plainview coaching staff did not like all the media attention I was getting. Each practice since training camp I got my abilities and mental state tested to the max. Could I get up after taking a hit? Each time I was down it wasn’t, “Get up.” It was, “See? He can’t take the contact or play in a real game.” 

One practice I tweaked my ankle and was debating on suiting up the next day. My athletic trainer said it would not be smart for me to play, but I felt that if I sat out it would be used against me. My Jericho coaches did not want me playing, but they found me in the locker room getting suited up in the middle of practice.

My abilities were tested in my first scrimmage against the other quarterback going for the starting position. This was the day I knew all the blood, sweat, tears, and mental energy I put into my life and the game was all worth it because Brandt Morgan was back. It ended up being one of my greatest accomplishments in life. Taking hits left and right, throwing touchdowns, running the ball, doing this with my brothers on the field and my family in the stands.

I was told to come an hour earlier to our first practice to find out who would be the starting quarterback for the first ever Jericho Friday Night Lights game. I walked in that morning and right away I looked at all of my Jericho coaches. None of them looked me straight in the face. This is when I knew the start of a new chapter in my story would be made. I got called in and there was a rubric as to why I should not be the starting quarterback for my comeback game on the new Jericho field–its first ever Friday Night Lights game in Jericho history.

This game was the one I worked for–fighting each night in that hospital, dreaming when I put my head down of stepping onto the field again. I couldn’t believe they wanted to take everything I worked for away from me.

That whole week of school was probably one of the hardest weeks I experienced. I couldn’t walk through the halls without a Friday Night Lights announcement being made. It truly haunted me, but my teammates had my back. The team captains, my close friends and the other quarterback all went up to the Plainview coaching staff saying they wanted me to be the starting quarterback. My good friend and quarterback Jack Person even tried to have me start the game which meant more to me than I can put into words. That Friday I spoke with the New York Giants team psychologist, Dr. Lani Lawerence. It truly made me ready for that night believing I would get my opportunity. I didn’t think it was going to go down the way it did though. 

Before the game, my Jericho coaches pulled me over and said. “Everything happens for a reason. Stay ready. Anything can happen. I decided to walk out as captain this day for my teammates, family, Jericho community, and coaches Lahti, Berry, and O’Malley. After the first drive of the game, quarterback Jack Person fractured his fibula. This is not what I wanted. Watching a teammate go down is the last thing you want to see, especially right after another gruesome injury suffered by Jericho receiver Isaac Raphel. There were chills from everyone on the field and in the stands. I ended up going in and playing the remainder of the game against East Meadow. It ended up being a loss, but suiting up and having the courage to walk out and play that night was a win in itself.

This year’s annual senior night game wasn’t just a game in honor of seniors, it was also a game in honor of cancer: Coaches vs. Cancer night. I was benched for this game. I watched the entire game from the sidelines, and in my view the Plainview coaching staff made things personal.

At the conclusion of the season, Jericho ended up walking away from Plainview. With enough players to field our own program, next year’s football team will get to represent Jericho across their jerseys and play for something special. I am beyond excited to be able to witness it all.

In 2021, I won the Heart Of A Giant Award sponsored by the New York Giants, Hospital for Special Surgery, and USA football. The award honors an inspirational player from the tri-state area who has overcome the most adversity. The Giants organization has not only helped me physically, but also mentally throughout all of the drama that went on throughout my football season. I was benched in a game dedicated to fighting cancer, and over the last several months I learned a lot about overcoming adversity especially during this year’s football season. I used these obstacles when speaking in front of classes at colleges and other events hoping to inspire people and show there is always light at the end of the tunnel. There were certain people who tried to take away my heart and passion for the game, but I wouldn’t let that happen. I proved the doubters wrong.