A Satirical Article By SYDNEY LESNICK and REESA LEFKOWICZ
Following vaccine distribution, Jericho students have reportedly been randomly bursting into song throughout the school day. Instead of music on the loudspeaker in between periods, it is being performed live. Both students and teachers think that JHS has transitioned into East High from “High School Musical.” This has led to exciting developments for the district, but it has not come without a cost.
Last week, these performances started occurring during classes and even during tests. While this seems to be a positive experience for the Jericho community, it has not been all fun and games. “I was in the middle of a math test when I threw my iPad into the air and started dancing and singing ‘What Time is It?’ I don’t know why this happened, but I couldn’t stop! There were 14 cracked iPads and 3 bloody noses in my class alone,” said junior Ryan Montez-Bolton.
Teachers feel that this is a great disruption to their teaching. Instead of being able to learn lessons, kids are uncontrollably dancing. Ms. Drayer said, “I was teaching when all of a sudden my students ran out of the room. They started doing the ‘We’re All in this Together’ choreography in the middle of the hallway. One kid even sprained his ankle while dancing.”
Nurse Evans believes that the vaccine is to blame for these abnormal behaviors. She said, “Since the vaccine has been administered, a few students who have received it are acting pretty strange. They simply can’t control their bodies and randomly burst into songs from ‘High School Musical.’ It has become very dangerous. My office has been packed with students who have broken ankles and bloody noses. Yesterday, some kid even jumped into the pool during ‘Fabulous,’ but they couldn’t swim. This is getting out of hand!”
The students seem to be as surprised by this as the teachers are. In fact, during the semifinals for basketball, the team started singing “Get’cha Head in the Game” and got disqualified.
“I was about to make the game winning shot when I threw the ball in the air and started singing. At first, my team started getting really mad but soon they all joined in. None of them were as good as me though!” said captain Danforth.
The high school’s drama teacher had a different perspective on the matter. She said, “I don’t know why everyone is so upset! This is great exposure for the spring musical! Who knew we had so much talent in Jericho?” She added, “The basketball team has some great vocals and the Science Olympiads are amazing choreographers.”
All students can’t help but compare this phenomenon to “High School Musical.” This has even caught the attention of Kenny Ortega, the creator of the movie series.
We are proud to share the news that Jericho High School will be starring in “High School Musical 4.” It will be streamed exclusively on Disney+ in 2022.